This last year I’ve been incredibly quiet.
For months I began to disengage in various ways, cutting off unhealthy contact and frequenting social media less and less. I was/am undergoing a transition. One where I am hell bent on preserving myself in all the current chaos while slowly collecting stardust- recharging for what’s to come.
Homesickness? Check. Rampant insecurities? Massive Check. Post graduate depression symptoms? Check, check and check. But not in the same way I’ve seen these written or how other peers have described their experiences. I feel like people sought external validation where I sought inner stability. People sought community where I sought my voice outside of spaces I’ve been so comfortable in. I needed to take a step back and ground myself in another way. So, couldn’t relate.
It was just different for me.
With that said, I learned new things along the way this year on what it’s like to embrace love, the meaning of relationships, navigating career/social spaces as a queer identified Filipinx, the unhealthy effects of desirability and growing up, amongst other topics that I’ll be touching in these next few months.
Still, the most important nugget of information I learned is that,
I’ve always been my own starlight.
Life threw a collection of meteors, unpleasant fireballs and the occasional shooting star my way this year. And I thought I wasn’t going to survive each hit.
But I did. And I thrived. The difference from past challenges? Not seeking anyone’s approval any longer and pressing on with a lot less fucks and a lot more motivation to continue pursuing my passions and unlocking my potential. Insecurities will be an uphill battle for the rest of my life, but at this very moment, it’ll take a whole lot more muscle grease for the monsters to bring me down.
Tala when translated means “Star,” a fixed luminous point in the night sky.
Can you imagine? Out there in the blackness of the universe, a star thrives, albeit lonely I’m sure, but so incredibly bright. (Not as lonely, because stars have other star friends for support, too.) This idea of an inner source of indestructible light is what inspired my Fall Lookbook: Tala.
A mix of grit and light. Luminous.
Over the course of this season, I’ll be sharing both my personal style evolution along with life developments, as it’s changed a considerable amount this year, both through my eyes and the vision of the photographers I’ll be collaborating with.
Tala, is essentially a Spring-to-Fall transition lookbook, mixed with of course, personal stories.
In this project I worked with a creative goddess, Mariah, to compose two looks that I felt encompass the perfect spring to fall transition so many of us are trying to do with our closets. The other look I’ll be releasing midweek. Anyway, no need to put away all of spring, friends, felt capes like this one (frequently used at music festivals that I NEVER go to, are more than welcome additions to your pre-winter looks.)
Additionally, the honey/cream and black combination is my Fall palette inspo. Let’s find yours!
I promised we’d talk soon. So here I am, back into the fold, and on the way to becoming a healthier me.
XO, Miguel Raphael.
Creative Collaborator: Mariah Berdiago
Styled By: Yours Truly.